2016 Presidential Election: Which ‘Facts’ Do You Hate More?

We can all hardly wait for the 2016 Presidential campaign to give us more information about the past sex lives of two men in their seventies. We have all been taught in school that one of the great things about America is that it is a classless society. I rest my case. What could possibly be more classless?

Perhaps the 2016 campaign headline should be “Sex, Lies, and Videotape”. The sex could be sub-classified under too much information. Old guys doing it couldn’t be grosser. The lies could be the misinformation, shape-shifting, inconsistent statements, and “evolution” of the candidates. The videotape could be the documentation of the shape-shifting, inconsistent statements and general blather of the candidates.

Anger, as well as plain, old-fashioned fear, will rule the day. It is quite evident that both sides have record high negatives with over 50% of the public. The bases of both political parties will be voting against someone rather than for someone. The campaign looks like it may be primarily fact free. We are being promised we’ll get our jobs back from overseas with no negative consequences. We can break international treaties with no negative consequences. We are promised a wall on the Mexican border at the expense of the Mexicans. We are going to deport about 11 million people without any adverse effect on the agricultural industry in California and Arizona. Thousands of people will then be able to leave the rust belt to pick lettuce in 100-degree heat now that those awesome jobs will finally be available. We are going to save Medicare and social security by doing nothing different. We are going to give college students free tuition. We are going to balance the budget by not raising taxes and increasing military spending. We are not going to get involved in international crises and bomb the feces out of ISIS. We are going to make America safer from criminals by having more people carrying loaded weapons to schools and bars. How is that working in Chicago?

We are going to get the government off of our backs and into our vaginas (unless we don’t have one). We are going to keep transgender persons either in or out of public restrooms. Why not trees and bushes also?

Meanwhile, I apologize for having wrongfully accused gubernatorial candidate Doug Burgum of being a Norwegian. I guess even white people don’t appreciate racial profiling. Should I have demanded to see his birth certificate?

Is this life imitating art or art imitating life? Or is it just embarrassing?

Jim Maxson

One comment on “2016 Presidential Election: Which ‘Facts’ Do You Hate More?

Jessica Soller

Love the sarcasm! You are so right. My husband and I are in our mid-60s, and this is shaping up to be the trashiest, most lie-filled, fantasy-filled rhetoric, empty-promise campaign season we have ever seen! What to do…what to do?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.