Oh Canada, Our Funny Neighbor to the North…

After a week in British Columbia, Canada, it is hard to believe we won’t need to build a wall to keep the Canadians out of the USA. Canada has socialized medicine. Canada has sales taxes that are roughly twice as high as ours. Canada has higher income taxes than us. Canada has higher gasoline taxes than us. Canada has higher tobacco taxes than us. Canada has higher liquor taxes than us. The Canadian government has failed to recognize, as ours has, that climate change is merely a hoax. Canada has accepted more war refugees from the Middle East than we have. We have learned from the Native Americans who have long regretted not having had tighter immigration laws. Canada has more three day weekends than we do, so they must not get as much done. Canada has very restrictive laws regarding hand guns and assault weapons. Down here we have more constitutional rights. We can carry a pistol almost anywhere without one of those unnecessary permits, not to mention not being outright being banned. Surely they must have a higher murder rate up there without all the good guys being able to carry a gun anywhere.

Our nation’s capital has a football team that has a very masculine native American warrior for a mascot. Their nation’s capital has a football team too. They are called the Ottawa RedBlacks. I am not sure what that means. Is it a communist of African descent? Their Prime Minister is this cute little guy with a tattoo who speaks French. Our President is a big guy with awesome hair who tweets. Our national symbol is a majestic bird of prey. Theirs is a leaf from a tree that gives them syrup.

Canadians are the same people who would rather have been ruled by the King of England back in the 18th century rather than being free to rule one’s self (unless you were a slave).

Canadians obviously have failed to recognize how awesome we are. That is OK. We will have one less wall to build on our borders. Canadians probably would rather play hockey than work in out our fields picking fruits and vegetables, thus taking awesome jobs away from Americans. I guess they just don’t get it up there. Sad.

Jim Maxson

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