Josh Wolsky

A Satirical Sampling of Your Election Day Choices

Soon our North Dakota Primary Election will be over. So many choices. Which gubernatorial candidate to vote for? The lying lawyer or the lying CEO? Or, are they both telling the truth? Shall we vote for the guy with gelled hair and designer glassess running for Congress who brandishes an assault weapon, or pity him for all the snuggies he got in the locker room when he was a kid?

Who do the Republican base dislike more, Democrats or each other? Shall we restore respect for religion by teaching the Ten Commandments in public schools while backing a serial liar for President? Or maybe just nine of them? Shall we love our neighbors, but only if they are Canadians not Mexicans? Shall we prevent 81 year olds from running for public office, but support 78 year olds? Shall we reward candidates whose television ads insult our intelligence or prove them correct in their analysis?

Soon, the votes will have been cast and we will be able to look forward to the general election in November. Then we can vote whether or not to legalize pot, eliminate taxes and decide whether to support Sleepy Joe or Spanky Don for President. Greatness is such a burden.

Cover Image: a collage of political advertisements being sent to North Dakota voters. By Josh Wolsky

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Jim Maxson

Mr. Maxson is a retired Minot attorney, former ND State Senator representing Minot's 3rd District from 1986-1994, and former ND Democratic National Committeeman from 2000-2008. He speaks two languages, English and Metaphor, and is cursed by a long memory.

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